Quote #7 - All quotes
"There's definitely some pride in getting detention for doing the Nutbush in class." - David Sanguineti
"There's definitely some pride in getting detention for doing the Nutbush in class." - David Sanguineti
The last Modern Warfare (hopefully!)
The next game that I am going to review is rather inevitable, with it being the last major game release before the end of the year, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 is the latest saga in the seemingly never ending activision series. If you have bothered to read my comments on Matt's detailed reviews, you will find quite a few face palms as on a realistic point of view, this game has basically shot itself in the foot, arse and every-fucking where else. Today finally armed with my trusty and now super charged BULLSHIT detector, I will dive into the shit.
It feels SOO good to finally use my shit detector again! The series obviously continues from the end of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 where Captain "�Soap' McTavish has been stabbed badly by General Sheppard, after saving Captain Price who saved you (You can see why I feel the need to vent my anger, and to answer my bullshit detector!) by throwing a knife into his eye. You awake to the sound of a chopper landing and manage to see Captain low Price carrying you with Nikoali, who now looks like a Marine. You are carried into a room where the last thing you hear is the sounds of a defribulator, and as the shock comes it shows WW3 and then flips to be MW3.
The first actual fight takes place with planes flying into world trade buildings in New York. (I do not actually give a shit whether they meant this or not, it is actually pretty fucking ironic from an American company!) The first level is where you play as part of a special Army ground force and finally have a half decent nickname! This is just like any opening level where you learn the controls and the gameplay style and that crap. The first mission to ordinary gamers is actually a pretty good mission, but put any kind of shit detecting device near it and you will find out how shit it is. On a realistic point of view it is crap.
Throughout the campaign, you jump in and out of two characters, Kuri a loyalist Russian that hates Makarov because he shot him, after several years of dedicated service and Frost as he fights through various cities butt-fucking as many Russians as possible. What helps prevent the storyline from an endless barrage of shit flung at it by me is that the storylines of the two characters meet when you rescue the Russian President after he was captured by Makarov. However the steroid induced bunny story hoping is still there and made worse by the fact that it always cuts out to the other at a critical moment, also you do play as a Russian FSB (Fucking get it right!) agent on-board the plane that was hijacked and crashed and then killed by Makarov as he tries to save the President.
The campaign finishes when you play as low Price in a Juggernaught suit and assault the hotel where Makarov is staying. The last level comprises of you fighting as low Price where you lay waste to a fucking army that is defending the ultra-nationalist leader. Another section of where you Juggernaught suit is fucked and so you play as just Captain low Price and the end where you finally kill the dickhead, which looks and plays exactly like the ending of Call of Duty Black Ops. I really do not like the ending of this game, it is far too vague and really just like the ending of Call of Duty 6 with Call of Duty 7.
The newest off-campaign game section is now called special ops. This is better as it does not give you smartarses a chance to say "There is no black ops in Modern Warfare 3!"� This new section has two different types of missions that you can play, the first kind are just like the missions that you play on Call of Duty 6 where there is intelligence you need to get, slaughter houses and stealth missions. The second is a relatively new one where your only objective is to survive. The survival situations are a mixture of zombies where the waves are endless and the enemies get stronger and better with better and up-gradable stuff with a few missions in black ops (CALL OF FUCKING DUTY 6 DICKHEADS!) where you have an entire map to run around and you only have the set difficulty. I am un-decided on whether or not this section is any good or just plain bullshit. It does not have the same sort of intensity that everyone has come to expect from every Call of Duty game, and even any other game needs today with its players.
The online section of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 smells exactly like that of the last Modern Warfare. This is not so bad, as the last online section of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 worked very well with its dopey and fucked up playing audience. This online section works with the same shit in just about every section, laziness has crept into just about everything on the online section. The weapon stats are exactly alike in certain weapons, the maps are very slightly changed from what they were in Modern Warfare 2 to try to avoid suspicion of a year's work for something that smells very similar and have just about all the same perks. Very fucking slack from activision, falling back into their old routine with their earliest works where every fucking level was the same and the games could not be separated by a shit detector.
If you have read Matt's review and my replies to the reviews, you will know that I have been bagging it relentlessly for the amount shit that can be found in Modern Warfare 3. If not then read them right after this, they are very funny and do show what the fuck has gone wrong with this game. Like with Call of Duty Black Ops, I shall do a list of the WORST things that the game features:
The defibrillator. A fucking massive stab wound would not need 4000 volts to magically stop bleeding. In fact if he was still alive, that would certainly fuck him up for good.
Thermite. Thermite burns at several thousand degrees but is not explosive, unreliable and very unstable. So the first part where your HUMVEE is raped, you would likely be little more than a red mush that covers the walls.
The submarine. Every fucking thing is wrong in this level so no real point in singling out anything.
The ever changing AK design. It does not look like an AK anymore, one of the few things that Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 got right and they fuck it up again, as well as the desert eagle it is fucked!
African groups with some of the latest weapons. Bullshit. These guys would be strictly armed with AK's and maybe a few NATO weapons, but not new Russian sub-machine guns.
What the fuck is the point of wasting Europe? I know you are not meant to follow the thoughts of a sociopath, but I cannot see the point of fucking over Europe.
The armies actually invading. The president of Russia never actually gave the order to invade and yet the entire population of Russia goes forth to fuck every sad shit in Europe.
Russia does not have the power to take over the entire of Europe. These are just some of the countries that would fight and probably hold out the Russians: Germans, Italy, this pains me to say this France and because they are all part of one union, they could simply massacre the Russians.
The dates in the flash back. Modern Warfare is dated at 2011, even though its release was some time in 2008/2009, so it should have actually been called future combat, the second modern warfare is set in 2016, so it should be future combat 2 and this one should be future combat 3. What
have you dickheads been smoking?!
The flash back with Zackhev, first in the intro it shows the bastard sprawling on the ground after being shot, secondly the RSASS in 1996? Bullshit! Finally I shot that prick in the first game so he should be dead.
The trailer of Modern Warfare looked as if that this game was the closest thing to putting a gun in gamers hands and sending them off to really fight each other. From the introduction to the game, it is easy to tell that this is a shitload of spin being put on the ad, in fact the ad looks as if it is twice as good as the game. Not only does the landscape look as real as any landscape has ever looked but there was something behind it that gave it a real sense of power. The campaign or any other section of Modern Warfare 3 does not have the same feeling. The trailer did give me something to laugh at though, the amount of people that thought Ghost was back was fucking hilarious! Seriously, if you did and you are reading this, you poor bastard! Activision is known for being lazy with its characters and yet you still think that they would tie in a character that would take effort to explain why he is not already pushing up the daisies, you really are fucked up!
The storyline despite still jumping like a steroid induced kangaroo between characters is very well made, with quite a few intertwining themes between the entire series.
The feeling that everything is connected does actually save a storyline that does lack in just about everything else that is needed to make a good storyline. There is no real twist in the storyline where you either have a very cool flashback to a nuked city or a character re-born, it is just straight up kill as many Russians as possible and no real action that surprises anyone.
To sum this game up it all depends upon the view you are taking, if you are from a gamers point of view you will disagree with most of what I have said, and in a gamers point of view the game is a good 8.5/10.
If you are even slightly educated or are viewing this from another point of view, this game is on the same level as Fallout New Vegas, fucking shit from start to finish.
I am really disappointed with the game and the way it ends. My personal opinion is that any game like this that suffers from SSS (Same Shit Syndrome) this badly does not deserve anything higher than the last one.
7/10. Not the worst but a fucking poor effort by their standards.
So until next time"�
Posted by Magp1es on November 28th 2011 | 0 comments | Tweet
The next game that I am going to review is rather inevitable, with it being the last major game release before the end of the year, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 is the latest saga in the seemingly never ending activision series. If you have bothered to read my comments on Matt's detailed reviews, you will find quite a few face palms as on a realistic point of view, this game has basically shot itself in the foot, arse and every-fucking where else. Today finally armed with my trusty and now super charged BULLSHIT detector, I will dive into the shit.
It feels SOO good to finally use my shit detector again! The series obviously continues from the end of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 where Captain "�Soap' McTavish has been stabbed badly by General Sheppard, after saving Captain Price who saved you (You can see why I feel the need to vent my anger, and to answer my bullshit detector!) by throwing a knife into his eye. You awake to the sound of a chopper landing and manage to see Captain low Price carrying you with Nikoali, who now looks like a Marine. You are carried into a room where the last thing you hear is the sounds of a defribulator, and as the shock comes it shows WW3 and then flips to be MW3.
The first actual fight takes place with planes flying into world trade buildings in New York. (I do not actually give a shit whether they meant this or not, it is actually pretty fucking ironic from an American company!) The first level is where you play as part of a special Army ground force and finally have a half decent nickname! This is just like any opening level where you learn the controls and the gameplay style and that crap. The first mission to ordinary gamers is actually a pretty good mission, but put any kind of shit detecting device near it and you will find out how shit it is. On a realistic point of view it is crap.
Throughout the campaign, you jump in and out of two characters, Kuri a loyalist Russian that hates Makarov because he shot him, after several years of dedicated service and Frost as he fights through various cities butt-fucking as many Russians as possible. What helps prevent the storyline from an endless barrage of shit flung at it by me is that the storylines of the two characters meet when you rescue the Russian President after he was captured by Makarov. However the steroid induced bunny story hoping is still there and made worse by the fact that it always cuts out to the other at a critical moment, also you do play as a Russian FSB (Fucking get it right!) agent on-board the plane that was hijacked and crashed and then killed by Makarov as he tries to save the President.
The campaign finishes when you play as low Price in a Juggernaught suit and assault the hotel where Makarov is staying. The last level comprises of you fighting as low Price where you lay waste to a fucking army that is defending the ultra-nationalist leader. Another section of where you Juggernaught suit is fucked and so you play as just Captain low Price and the end where you finally kill the dickhead, which looks and plays exactly like the ending of Call of Duty Black Ops. I really do not like the ending of this game, it is far too vague and really just like the ending of Call of Duty 6 with Call of Duty 7.
The newest off-campaign game section is now called special ops. This is better as it does not give you smartarses a chance to say "There is no black ops in Modern Warfare 3!"� This new section has two different types of missions that you can play, the first kind are just like the missions that you play on Call of Duty 6 where there is intelligence you need to get, slaughter houses and stealth missions. The second is a relatively new one where your only objective is to survive. The survival situations are a mixture of zombies where the waves are endless and the enemies get stronger and better with better and up-gradable stuff with a few missions in black ops (CALL OF FUCKING DUTY 6 DICKHEADS!) where you have an entire map to run around and you only have the set difficulty. I am un-decided on whether or not this section is any good or just plain bullshit. It does not have the same sort of intensity that everyone has come to expect from every Call of Duty game, and even any other game needs today with its players.
The online section of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 smells exactly like that of the last Modern Warfare. This is not so bad, as the last online section of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 worked very well with its dopey and fucked up playing audience. This online section works with the same shit in just about every section, laziness has crept into just about everything on the online section. The weapon stats are exactly alike in certain weapons, the maps are very slightly changed from what they were in Modern Warfare 2 to try to avoid suspicion of a year's work for something that smells very similar and have just about all the same perks. Very fucking slack from activision, falling back into their old routine with their earliest works where every fucking level was the same and the games could not be separated by a shit detector.
If you have read Matt's review and my replies to the reviews, you will know that I have been bagging it relentlessly for the amount shit that can be found in Modern Warfare 3. If not then read them right after this, they are very funny and do show what the fuck has gone wrong with this game. Like with Call of Duty Black Ops, I shall do a list of the WORST things that the game features:
The defibrillator. A fucking massive stab wound would not need 4000 volts to magically stop bleeding. In fact if he was still alive, that would certainly fuck him up for good.
Thermite. Thermite burns at several thousand degrees but is not explosive, unreliable and very unstable. So the first part where your HUMVEE is raped, you would likely be little more than a red mush that covers the walls.
The submarine. Every fucking thing is wrong in this level so no real point in singling out anything.
The ever changing AK design. It does not look like an AK anymore, one of the few things that Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 got right and they fuck it up again, as well as the desert eagle it is fucked!
African groups with some of the latest weapons. Bullshit. These guys would be strictly armed with AK's and maybe a few NATO weapons, but not new Russian sub-machine guns.
What the fuck is the point of wasting Europe? I know you are not meant to follow the thoughts of a sociopath, but I cannot see the point of fucking over Europe.
The armies actually invading. The president of Russia never actually gave the order to invade and yet the entire population of Russia goes forth to fuck every sad shit in Europe.
Russia does not have the power to take over the entire of Europe. These are just some of the countries that would fight and probably hold out the Russians: Germans, Italy, this pains me to say this France and because they are all part of one union, they could simply massacre the Russians.
The dates in the flash back. Modern Warfare is dated at 2011, even though its release was some time in 2008/2009, so it should have actually been called future combat, the second modern warfare is set in 2016, so it should be future combat 2 and this one should be future combat 3. What
have you dickheads been smoking?!The flash back with Zackhev, first in the intro it shows the bastard sprawling on the ground after being shot, secondly the RSASS in 1996? Bullshit! Finally I shot that prick in the first game so he should be dead.
The trailer of Modern Warfare looked as if that this game was the closest thing to putting a gun in gamers hands and sending them off to really fight each other. From the introduction to the game, it is easy to tell that this is a shitload of spin being put on the ad, in fact the ad looks as if it is twice as good as the game. Not only does the landscape look as real as any landscape has ever looked but there was something behind it that gave it a real sense of power. The campaign or any other section of Modern Warfare 3 does not have the same feeling. The trailer did give me something to laugh at though, the amount of people that thought Ghost was back was fucking hilarious! Seriously, if you did and you are reading this, you poor bastard! Activision is known for being lazy with its characters and yet you still think that they would tie in a character that would take effort to explain why he is not already pushing up the daisies, you really are fucked up!
The storyline despite still jumping like a steroid induced kangaroo between characters is very well made, with quite a few intertwining themes between the entire series.
The feeling that everything is connected does actually save a storyline that does lack in just about everything else that is needed to make a good storyline. There is no real twist in the storyline where you either have a very cool flashback to a nuked city or a character re-born, it is just straight up kill as many Russians as possible and no real action that surprises anyone. To sum this game up it all depends upon the view you are taking, if you are from a gamers point of view you will disagree with most of what I have said, and in a gamers point of view the game is a good 8.5/10.
If you are even slightly educated or are viewing this from another point of view, this game is on the same level as Fallout New Vegas, fucking shit from start to finish.
I am really disappointed with the game and the way it ends. My personal opinion is that any game like this that suffers from SSS (Same Shit Syndrome) this badly does not deserve anything higher than the last one.
7/10. Not the worst but a fucking poor effort by their standards.
So until next time"�
Posted by Magp1es on November 28th 2011 | 0 comments | Tweet