Quote #6 - All quotes
"One mustn't question their own success, only perform an epic dance to disco music to celebrate." - David Sanguineti
"One mustn't question their own success, only perform an epic dance to disco music to celebrate." - David Sanguineti
Motion sensor console reviews.
(My picture greeting)
Well hello. Today my bullshit-detector is primed and ready, but instead of putting a recently released game through this test, we are going to do all the motion detecting gaming systems. These became massively popular once the Nintendo Wii was released a couple of years ago. Since then, motion detectors have been fitted to both the XBOX 360 in the form of motion packs and the latest PlayStation move packs, they will all be put through a thorough test today. Here is the result of a lot of work, innovation, technology and cursing, enjoy. (That is an order!)
The Wii was the first to be released and so it will be our first crash dummy test subject. Nintendo a couple of years ago, it hoped to silence critics who were bagging them relentlessly about child obesity. This was to be honest a rushed effort to prevent from being demonised in the public view, nether the less, this became an instant hit just in time for Christmas in Australia and families went for it in under 9.59 over 100m!
So, we shall start with the initial start-up. This is fairly basic, with all that you need to do is to allocate a separate channel (if you have not done this already, FYI if you have done it with a different console, that channel should still work.) for the Wii to operate, enter in a name and a couple of dates and you should be able to get to the login area. If not then you really are fucked up, I mean it is not that fucking hard, surely!
We shall not worry about the gameplay on the Wii for the moment, instead we shall inspect the much raved about Wii channel and all that crap for just that, crap.
The moment you login, (if you are under the age of 7 this does not apply to you.) you will start to be disappointed with the cartoons. They are very basic for what was supposedly some years work. Yes I know you can edit them and create millions if you really do not have a life outside of this but this is really just a character for show just to save the effort of putting the whole thing in 1st person. Cost saving when there was no GFC around is a bigger fuck up than the Malaysian solution! 
The supposed interaction between Mii characters is total crap. It just is, there is no real interaction to begin with! When you do eventually meet another character, you normally do not even have the time to say "Fuck you"� to the passing bastard.
The gameplay on the Wii is no better. Firstly we start with the specialised Wii games. These games are fucked. The sports on Wii sports are so fucked that a three year old has a massive chance of beating an experienced player. The resort sports are just to silence people who complained (and rightly so) about the sports on Wii sports being too easy. Now they are almost too hard, dickheads! Wii fitness, if it smells like shit, looks like shit and does shit all, it is shit. Same with Wii fitness, going outside and running around will get you fitter and quicker than standing on some monitor doing random crap. Also all the controllers that you need to use juice like a yank-tank. You are actually likely to spend as much money on the batteries as you do on the console itself.
The games converted to the Wii are just as bad. If you do manage to find a game that you like, keep it. They are very fucking rare. The graphics are not good enough to support many games, the game play is made worse by the limitations of the console and in a pain in the arse to connect to the internet.
Really the only thing the Wii has on its rivals is that it is much cheaper than the rest of them. You can get a new one for $199. Seriously though, save your money for something worth the money, like a pencil.
XBOX 360 was the second motion sensor released. The XBOX 360 has had a very good history and has actually managed to steal some of the PlayStation's thunder over the years. The motion sensor was a direct effort to steal some of the Wii, this has succeeded in doing so. We will now see whether it was just for those who already had an XBOX 360.
The XBOX 360 has gone through several stages of updates and improvements, mainly due to the advancements in the PS3. The latest was the motion sensor, released just before the PS3 one (no not a fucking coincidence!).
There is no specialised game system or server for the motion XBOX over the normal XBOX. This is good because there are shitloads of good games on the XBOX, these would be out-dated if you could not play them on the newer system and the servers in use for XBOX consoles are very good.
Even though you do have to pay additional charges to access the internet in XBOX Live, the servers in XBOX live with the games are actually worth accessing and playing. Something of a rarity among motion sensors.
The hardest thing to do is to set the bloody thing up with your existing XBOX. The whole system and the controls for the system are actually really fucking hard to set-up correctly. Not to mention that the controls for this are really hard to find.
Another downside to the XBOX 360 connect package is it is all very expensive, the console alone costs $400 then there is the sensor and the controls for it, it adds up to almost $600! This is made worse by the fact that you have to pay for XBOX live, even though a smart way of getting money, it does suck for everyone else outside of that company.
And finally, the PS3 Move package. The latest of the motion sensors to be released. Sony missed out on an opportunity by delaying the release of its motion sensor to get ahead of XBOX manufacturers. Despite its slow start, motion sensors among PS3 consoles are actually more common than in its XBOX 360 counterpart. (This is so for two reasons: firstly because there is a bigger market for these than the XBOX 360 packs and secondly because they are handed out with every new PS3 sold.)
The PS3 motion sensor is also another rushed effort to attempt success in the "active"� gaming sector. It too has found success, with sales of these items rising sharply over the past few months, this success was big enough for the head dickheads at Sony computers to actually make games specialised for the motion section.
As stated above, motion sensors have started to be issued with just about every new PS3 sold as part of a deal. Really this is just an attempt to win over parents who are worried about their kids health and do not really have any effect on the target market, kids and teens. The motion sensor in the packages do actually come free with a motion sensing tailored game. Free stuff always works!
The motion sensor unlike in the other consoles does not actually take anything away from the gameplay in PS3, in fact in some games it actually adds to the interaction and enjoyment of the game. This is a massive area (just a little bit smaller than the size of the dick on Rebecca Black's forehead! ) for game manufacturers and can quite easily turn players away from playing the games all together.
Unfortunately, the games that have been tailored especially for the Move packs can often be very basic and do tend to fall down in the same areas as the Wii games do. These areas are basically everywhere, but the major concerns are:
The games are very basic and quite repetitive.
The enjoyment of these games is somehow not anywhere near it should be.
The online section of these games is pointless.
Really, not as good as running outside which is what these games are meant to be like.
The Move pack also looks very familiar"� Oh, yes! If you can remember this far back, there was an attempt at motion games on PS2 that had exactly the same controls, and the same games. This is a major downfall (picture falling down to Queanbeyan!) as he controls for this shit have not changed in over 3 years! I said before that these are handed out in just about every sale, why is this? If these were any good, Sony would charging us a shitload for every single one. Why is this not happening?
All up the console and Move package should cost about $400. So it splits the Wii at $200 and the XBOX 360 connect at $600.
So the outcomes of this review are:
Wii-
-Easy to install and operate.
-Cheap to buy, but"�
-really shit gameplay.
-Promised interaction between characters is shit.
-fitness benefits, well that is"� you get the picture.
XBOX 360 Connect-
-No specialised games so all new games are compatible.
-Online sections are actually worth going into.
-Operation of the software can get annoying.
-The price of actually getting one is extreme and extra charges online are another pain in the arse.
PS3 Move:
-Best gameplay out of the lot.
-Free stuff!
-Comes with all the controls.
-Specialised games are crap.
-"Same shit, different smell!"� Again!
Verdict:
The PS3. Not because it is the best motion sensor but because you can do so much more shit with it than you can do with the others. If you do however have a good laptop that can already do this and the cost is not an issue, the XBOX 360.
So until next time...
Posted by Magp1es on October 17th 2011 | 2 comments | Tweet
(My picture greeting)
Well hello. Today my bullshit-detector is primed and ready, but instead of putting a recently released game through this test, we are going to do all the motion detecting gaming systems. These became massively popular once the Nintendo Wii was released a couple of years ago. Since then, motion detectors have been fitted to both the XBOX 360 in the form of motion packs and the latest PlayStation move packs, they will all be put through a thorough test today. Here is the result of a lot of work, innovation, technology and cursing, enjoy. (That is an order!)
The Wii was the first to be released and so it will be our first crash dummy test subject. Nintendo a couple of years ago, it hoped to silence critics who were bagging them relentlessly about child obesity. This was to be honest a rushed effort to prevent from being demonised in the public view, nether the less, this became an instant hit just in time for Christmas in Australia and families went for it in under 9.59 over 100m!
So, we shall start with the initial start-up. This is fairly basic, with all that you need to do is to allocate a separate channel (if you have not done this already, FYI if you have done it with a different console, that channel should still work.) for the Wii to operate, enter in a name and a couple of dates and you should be able to get to the login area. If not then you really are fucked up, I mean it is not that fucking hard, surely!
We shall not worry about the gameplay on the Wii for the moment, instead we shall inspect the much raved about Wii channel and all that crap for just that, crap.
The moment you login, (if you are under the age of 7 this does not apply to you.) you will start to be disappointed with the cartoons. They are very basic for what was supposedly some years work. Yes I know you can edit them and create millions if you really do not have a life outside of this but this is really just a character for show just to save the effort of putting the whole thing in 1st person. Cost saving when there was no GFC around is a bigger fuck up than the Malaysian solution! The supposed interaction between Mii characters is total crap. It just is, there is no real interaction to begin with! When you do eventually meet another character, you normally do not even have the time to say "Fuck you"� to the passing bastard.
The gameplay on the Wii is no better. Firstly we start with the specialised Wii games. These games are fucked. The sports on Wii sports are so fucked that a three year old has a massive chance of beating an experienced player. The resort sports are just to silence people who complained (and rightly so) about the sports on Wii sports being too easy. Now they are almost too hard, dickheads! Wii fitness, if it smells like shit, looks like shit and does shit all, it is shit. Same with Wii fitness, going outside and running around will get you fitter and quicker than standing on some monitor doing random crap. Also all the controllers that you need to use juice like a yank-tank. You are actually likely to spend as much money on the batteries as you do on the console itself.
The games converted to the Wii are just as bad. If you do manage to find a game that you like, keep it. They are very fucking rare. The graphics are not good enough to support many games, the game play is made worse by the limitations of the console and in a pain in the arse to connect to the internet.
Really the only thing the Wii has on its rivals is that it is much cheaper than the rest of them. You can get a new one for $199. Seriously though, save your money for something worth the money, like a pencil.
XBOX 360 was the second motion sensor released. The XBOX 360 has had a very good history and has actually managed to steal some of the PlayStation's thunder over the years. The motion sensor was a direct effort to steal some of the Wii, this has succeeded in doing so. We will now see whether it was just for those who already had an XBOX 360.
The XBOX 360 has gone through several stages of updates and improvements, mainly due to the advancements in the PS3. The latest was the motion sensor, released just before the PS3 one (no not a fucking coincidence!).
There is no specialised game system or server for the motion XBOX over the normal XBOX. This is good because there are shitloads of good games on the XBOX, these would be out-dated if you could not play them on the newer system and the servers in use for XBOX consoles are very good.
Even though you do have to pay additional charges to access the internet in XBOX Live, the servers in XBOX live with the games are actually worth accessing and playing. Something of a rarity among motion sensors.
The hardest thing to do is to set the bloody thing up with your existing XBOX. The whole system and the controls for the system are actually really fucking hard to set-up correctly. Not to mention that the controls for this are really hard to find.
Another downside to the XBOX 360 connect package is it is all very expensive, the console alone costs $400 then there is the sensor and the controls for it, it adds up to almost $600! This is made worse by the fact that you have to pay for XBOX live, even though a smart way of getting money, it does suck for everyone else outside of that company.
And finally, the PS3 Move package. The latest of the motion sensors to be released. Sony missed out on an opportunity by delaying the release of its motion sensor to get ahead of XBOX manufacturers. Despite its slow start, motion sensors among PS3 consoles are actually more common than in its XBOX 360 counterpart. (This is so for two reasons: firstly because there is a bigger market for these than the XBOX 360 packs and secondly because they are handed out with every new PS3 sold.)
The PS3 motion sensor is also another rushed effort to attempt success in the "active"� gaming sector. It too has found success, with sales of these items rising sharply over the past few months, this success was big enough for the head dickheads at Sony computers to actually make games specialised for the motion section.
As stated above, motion sensors have started to be issued with just about every new PS3 sold as part of a deal. Really this is just an attempt to win over parents who are worried about their kids health and do not really have any effect on the target market, kids and teens. The motion sensor in the packages do actually come free with a motion sensing tailored game. Free stuff always works!
The motion sensor unlike in the other consoles does not actually take anything away from the gameplay in PS3, in fact in some games it actually adds to the interaction and enjoyment of the game. This is a massive area (just a little bit smaller than the size of the dick on Rebecca Black's forehead!
) for game manufacturers and can quite easily turn players away from playing the games all together.Unfortunately, the games that have been tailored especially for the Move packs can often be very basic and do tend to fall down in the same areas as the Wii games do. These areas are basically everywhere, but the major concerns are:
The games are very basic and quite repetitive.
The enjoyment of these games is somehow not anywhere near it should be.
The online section of these games is pointless.
Really, not as good as running outside which is what these games are meant to be like.
The Move pack also looks very familiar"� Oh, yes! If you can remember this far back, there was an attempt at motion games on PS2 that had exactly the same controls, and the same games. This is a major downfall (picture falling down to Queanbeyan!) as he controls for this shit have not changed in over 3 years! I said before that these are handed out in just about every sale, why is this? If these were any good, Sony would charging us a shitload for every single one. Why is this not happening?
All up the console and Move package should cost about $400. So it splits the Wii at $200 and the XBOX 360 connect at $600.
So the outcomes of this review are:
Wii-
-Easy to install and operate.
-Cheap to buy, but"�
-really shit gameplay.
-Promised interaction between characters is shit.
-fitness benefits, well that is"� you get the picture.
XBOX 360 Connect-
-No specialised games so all new games are compatible.
-Online sections are actually worth going into.
-Operation of the software can get annoying.
-The price of actually getting one is extreme and extra charges online are another pain in the arse.
PS3 Move:
-Best gameplay out of the lot.
-Free stuff!
-Comes with all the controls.
-Specialised games are crap.
-"Same shit, different smell!"� Again!
Verdict:
The PS3. Not because it is the best motion sensor but because you can do so much more shit with it than you can do with the others. If you do however have a good laptop that can already do this and the cost is not an issue, the XBOX 360.
So until next time...
Posted by Magp1es on October 17th 2011 | 2 comments | Tweet